How we can achieve our ultimate goal—together!

We are all the same. Deep down, at the core of each and everyone of us, we all have the same needs. We may be different in our approach, but that does not make us all that "different." We all have the capacity to love and to hate, to be kind and to be destructive, to be hurtful and to be caring. 

Some people have so much battling in their mind, they may temporarily lose their way (or lose themselves). It could very well be you, or me. So before we judge others who have done "wrong" or did things we do not agree with, perhaps we should have some compassion and be thankful that life hasn't yet provoked us enough to show our own dark colors.

Even if you haven't yet been pushed to completely unleash your distasteful side, it doesn’t mean that given the "right" circumstances, you wouldn't become "that person" you dislike. So as it stands, you would be wiser to have compassion, understanding, and deep acceptance that life is challenging for each of us... and that you and I are equal — no matter what our exterior may show.

Deep down we are no different. Whatever it is that we are doing, we are doing it because we all want to be happy, we all want to be safe, and we all want to be loved. No matter how you look at it, you really only have one ultimate goal; and that is, fulfillment. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it because you want to feel fulfilled in some way. 

Only YOU know what truly fulfills you. So choose the things (attitude, people, places, events, materials) that can bring more fulfillment to your life, and pay less attention to the things that take you away from it. Try to keep it simple. There's no reason to make things complicated.

Don't take life so seriously to a point where you forget to be "child-like" — to be young at heart. Remember, you have an inner child that lives deep within you who needs nurturing and attention. Let that inner child out to play often. Don't lock them up and shut them down. It's okay to cry, be angry, get frustrated and feel sad. A child would not hide these feelings for they are authentic... and so it is that you, too, are authentic when you express your true emotions. 

Don't lose that inner child within who's filled with love, wonder and compassion. Don't confine to logic all the time. Be courageous and use your imagination. Sure, logic can get you from one place to the next, but imagination will take you everywhere!

Use this world as a discovery center. Explore everything as a child would. Get curious, wonder, inquire, try new things, mess around with new ways of doing things, toy with ideas, play with nature, venture out of your comfort zone. Don't take yourself so seriously... when something goes "wrong," instead of saying "Oh, no!" learn to say "Oh, well..."

Are you using your mind wisely?

Before we go into the weekend, ponder on these wise words for a moment:

"I had a lot of tragedies in my life — most of them never happened." –– Mark Twain, famous American philosopher

"I find inner peace when I'm 'out of my mind'" –– Lyrics from a Music/Rap genius

Do you see what these famous lines have in common? They are encouraging you to get out of your head. Stop living "in your head." Come out of there and live in the here and now — yes, live here in THIS EXACT MOMENT where nothing is wrong; in this exact moment where "problems" cannot survive. The only thing "really happening" right now is you reading this article. That's it. Nothing else.

Most of us are so conditioned to create frightful or discouraging thoughts in our heads. But here's the thing: if those thoughts are in your head, then they are really only illusions. Illusions can only appear real once your attention is strongly focused there. So if you want peace of mind, get out of your head and be here, be present to this moment. Don't let the illusions in your head run your life and take you over.

Whether a "problem" is simply a prediction in your mind due to anxiety, or an imagination created by fear, your body cannot tell the difference. It cannot tell the difference between something that is happening RIGHT NOW in front of you and something that is in your mind. So as long as you're conjuring feelings of stress, your body will react accordingly by releasing stress hormones (such as cortisol), which can cause more disturbances in your body. 

Good news is your body can handle this kind of setback, however, the bad news is too much secretion of stress hormones over long periods of time can cause problems. This prolonged exposure to elevated levels of stress hormones can cause havoc in your system and eventually negatively affect the functional efficiency of your entire body. As a result, weight can fluctuate, dis-comfort will arise, and dis-ease can show up in various forms. 

So use your mind wisely. Use it to remember past mistakes and lessons so you can do better today. Use it to plan your day-to-day, moment-by-moment, to live a more enriching life. Use it to focus on ways to make things better for yourself and others.

DO NOT use your mind to worry and make a "problem" bigger than it really is. Do not dwell there in the past and be completely consumed and rendered paralyzed by it. The past is only but a memory and has no power over you unless you choose to focus all your attention there, and in doing so, energizing it and re-living it day after day.

Here and now is the only place you can make things happen, make things better; not there in the past, living in your head! Do not use your mind to predict the worse future or case scenarios unless you are doing it strategically with confidence to solve a problem. Otherwise it would only be counterproductive. 

Do not use your mind to make yourself sick or keep yourself sick. Practice being here. Start today. When you catch yourself getting lost living in your head — thinking of this, that, and everything unsettling (which will happen over and over again) — just kindly recognize that you're doing it, and bring yourself back to here and now by being intensely still and focusing on your breath. 

Be stubborn in this practice no matter how many times your ego tries to steer you back into living in your head. It is only in time, with repeated, uncompromising effort that this practice will open doors to a whole new world of peace and fulfillment so grand that your little ego mind could never have imagined.

Remember: A lot of the pain that we are dealing with are really only thoughts.

A lesson on "perfection" you need to understand

“That's perfect!" I exclaim (with a huge grin) when someone is doing their best to make positive changes in their lives. Most would then reply somewhere along the lines of, "Really? I have such a long way to go... How will I ever get it perfect?" And my respond would then usually go a little something like this:

Don't aim to be "perfect." Aim instead, for improved performance! Aim to do your best in every given scenario. As long as you're doing your best you'll always get better; this in itself is perfection — that continuous journey of making a conscious effort to do your best, to try your best. 

And your best will not always be the same. And that’s perfect, too. It will be different when you're happy as oppose to sad. It will be different when you're sick as oppose to healthy.

But doing your best, given the circumstances you’re in… well, that’s perfection! It doesn't mean you won't still make mistakes or have challenges to overcome. But by doing your best based on what is available to you in that moment, those so called "mistakes" and "challenges" will come with their own set of rewards every step of the way. They will be exactly the journey you need to learn, grow and evolve into the fullest expression of your best Self. 

This twisting and turning journey called life that we so daringly embark on is just the thing that makes us nothing short of perfection. So next time you see someone (including yourself) doing their best, just thank them for displaying perfection. Tell them, “You’re perfect for doing your best!" 

After all, is there anything more perfect than a person doing their best?

Careful what you ask for cause you WILL get it

Most of us believe we don't usually get what we ask for in life. But the thing is—beyond the superficial, on a much deeper level—we have always gotten, are getting, and will continue to get what we ask for.

If you ask for more courage, everything will happen to challenge you to have more courage; if you ask for success, you will experience mistakes or failures to drive you to succeed; if you wish to find true love, somehow you will be challenged to remain loving even when others are not. Paradox, isn't it?

Perhaps it would be wise to embrace the paradox of life. This is the only way you can build more courage, strength and wisdom, and be rewarded along the way. Embrace the light and the dark because both light and dark cannot exist in their fullest expression without their counterparts.

In other words, you need both light ("good") and darkness ("bad”) in order to create a whole picture. And so it is that you, too, have to experience your “good” and “bad” in order to be whole. See the irony here? 

Everything that is happening is not happening "to" you but is happening "for" you. Everything is happening to help you grow into the fullest expression of yourself – nothing is out of order.

The more you realize this, the friendlier your life experiences will be. So next time you wish or ask for something, be ready to let go and let things flow if you want it to work. What does this mean for you? Perhaps my article can help. 

Read more here: The Nature of Life: What It Means To Go With The Flow

My special Valentine message for you :)

Part 1 of 2

In any relationship, mistakes are inevitable; lessons are necessary; and forgiveness... well, it's mandatory—if you want to heal with peace in your heart. If you truly want to celebrate Valentine's day, celebrate it by being more understanding of the one you claim to love. If you truly want fulfillment with others, then learn to be patient and guide them in their evolution. Yes, I said GUIDE, not force. There is a huge difference. 

The way to offer true love to another is to display or suggest healthier options in a loving way, while also detaching from the outcome—in other words, don't be so rigid with expectations. 

So how do you detach from the outcome? You must learn to be open and trust the process. Allow others to choose their lessons. Don't be so quick to judge their choices. In life, we get what we put into it. So if you want the best, put in your best—offer true love... offer compassion.

Trust that as long as you're conducting authentically from a place of love, you cannot—in one form or another—receive the opposite; this means what is not of true love in nature will eventually find a way to leave your life.

You see, true love can only attract more truths—true friendships, true connections, true fulfillment. This kind of force is part of the Universal Law—the same Law that governs the existence of gravity. You can't deny the way gravity works anymore than you can deny the way true love works. These powerful Laws of Nature are constant and undeniable.

P.S. Here's an article I wrote a while ago if you want to read more. Read: In order to experience Love to the fullest degree, you need to understand this.

Part 2 of 2

Other than going for dinner or exchanging gifts, why not create something that celebrates love throughout the year? This is something you can do with your partner, your best friend, or even your kids; start a "happy-love box"!

Basically, each of you get to write down on little pieces of paper all the things you would like to experience or do together—something you both can enjoy. It could be picnic in a tree house, dining at a cool restaurant, taking a small trip together, having your friends over for wine and poker. And if you're lovers, well...ahem, you can suggest x-rated stuff. :) It could be anything. Get creative. Just keep it light-hearted and fun.

Then, put all these little pieces of paper in that special happy-love box. You can keep adding to this box anytime as often as you like, never letting it go empty. At least once a week, shake the box and randomly pull out a piece of paper, and together, do whatever is suggested on that piece of paper. Okay? :)

Want another idea? Try this: Something small like this can mean so much. Click here.

Happy Valentine's Day! :) xo

— Though love is only a four-letter word, its depth and beauty makes our language seem so limiting when we try to define it in its entirety.

You DID NOT create anything on your own!

Everything that exists in this world is a co–creation. There is no "me" or "mine." Nothing you create is "yours" and yours alone. In the bigger picture of life, it has never been — neither will it ever be — that "this is mine" – "I did this myself" – "this is my idea."

Each and every single idea you have is in one way or another inspired or triggered by someone else's thoughts, words, or actions. So yes, while words like "I" "me" "mine" are merely linguistic convention used in order to express a story, the true essence of everything created comes from "we," not "me."

We are all co-creators inspired by one another's existence and creations. Let's not lose sight of our humility through the language we speak. Look beyond linguistic convention once in a while and give credit where credit is due. Silently (or out loud) give thanks to others for whatever you've created in your life — in your work, your relationships, your community, or whatever successes.

When people say "Thank you for everything you've done for me," my natural respond is "I couldn't have done it alone. Thank you for your help."

— If the only prayer you ever say is "thank you," that would be enough.

My top 5 advice from 2012 for a great 2013!

Here’s my top 5 advice from 2012 to hopefully inspire you to stay on track with whatever changes you want to make this year...

1.) If you can't put your heart into it, take yourself out of it. When it comes to living well and sharing that wellness with others, only that which is said and done from a place of heart can create more empowering experiences and enriching relationships.

2.) If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. Nothing can change if you don't make a change.

3.) When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you. Spend your energy wisely.

4.) Do not look down on someone unless you're helping them up. Each of us have our own set of challenges to face. Have compassion.

5.) You cannot find yourself if you're always looking for someone else. Learn to enjoy your own company, get to know and care for yourself first. If you don't truly love and respect yourself, how can you expect others to truly love and respect you?

Let's make your heart smile and your cheeks hurt!

Can you imagine getting all your friends and family to do this video with you?? This is a must-watch video. It will make you smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. In just 6 short months, this video has already received well over 16 million views. Please watch it now. This well-thought-out display of love, creativity and humor will make your heart smile and your cheeks hurt lol. Enjoy! :))

Let's have a heart-to-heart before the new year

Forgiving does not mean you have to agree to something you don't believe in; it just means you're willing to let go the old and move forward to a new. 

If you and someone are on a different page at this time, allow each other the free will to choose and the lessons that follow. Let the other learn from their choices and evolve at their own pace. Don't try to control it—it is not up to you to decide the pace at which the other person evolves. What is up to you, however, are your deliberate choices to better your own being. 

Bear in mind that when you hold a grudge, you are in essence holding on to all the negative feelings that come with it. These toxic feelings are yours—not someone else's; they belong to you because you are the one holding on to the grudge. To achieve true wellness, you must first let go of this toxicity by letting go of the grudge. Forgive.

And no, you do not have to be a part of something you don't agree with in order to forgive. You can move on, turn a different page, find something that serves you better, while also having forgiveness in your heart. So forgive and forget-the-grudge, however, always remember the lesson! 

We do not attract what we want; we attract what we are. Consequently, the universe offers us experiences that match our giving, supportive nature or lack of it. The way you pay attention to the world can make a huge difference in the way you experience it. So if you really want to see change for the better, you must first be the change you are seeking. 

Be aware of where you focus most of your attention. Remember: You are the product of your thoughts; loving thoughts make you kind, miserable thoughts make you a downer, joyful thoughts make you spread more light. So how do you spend most of your thoughts?

This coming 2013, do yourself a favour—give the gift of Forgiveness. Start by forgiving yourself... And if there's someone you're contemplating on forgiving, this is the time to do so. You deserve to nourish your spirit with this empowering choice. Do not settle for anything less! 

Here's wishing you more ABUNDANCE in love, health and prosperity for the new year! :) xo

A special holiday message from my heart to yours

A single moment of misunderstanding can be so poisonous that it makes us forget the countless loving moments that existed. From today onwards, keep this in mind if you should decide to stay angry at someone. Ask yourself if it's truly worth keeping anger in your heart—contaminating your spirit. Or is it better to forgive, walk away from the old, and move forward into a new. The gift of forgiveness can be the most enriching gift you could offer... to yourself, and to the other. 

Remember: Happiness is always an inside job! :) Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone! Xo

Do you lift others up or bring them down?

No matter who you are or what you possess, each and every one of us have our own battles to fight. You may be good with family, but terrible in business; you may be great at making money, but can't seem to get yourself to workout and stay healthy; you may be excellent with people, yet find it hard to keep your relationship in order. Whatever it is, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, and we are all here to help each other achieve a satisfying balance.

Even good people can make bad decisions or become desperate when push comes to shove; even well-intentioned people can find themselves in disappointingly tempting situations. As long as we are here, we all live under the same Universal Law of Impermanence, that is to say, nothing is permanent — the only permanence in life is change. You could have it all one day and lose it all the next. Nothing is ever for sure. 

So do not pass judgments. You may very well be one of those "good people" who say "that would never happen to me" or "if that were to happen, I would never...". I've come to learn that you can never say never unless you were actually faced with that exact same circumstance you are referring to; you may be suprised with your own actions when desperate times call for desperate measures. 

So let's face it, no matter your age or status, you will make mistakes; you may repeat mistakes; some of you still don't get it; some may get a few things "right" sooner than later; but eventually, most of us will get it "right" enough. To live a life in harmony would then be to observe with compassion. It would be wise to not look down on someone unless you're helping them up. Remember: Judging a person does not define who they are...it defines who you are.

Is it worth giving more than you get?

I listen to some of my clients tell me how hard they try to "do things" or "make time" for a "certain someone," but that someone isn't putting in a similar effort. Okay, I get it, you're disappointed, but you're hopeful; you think that person will somehow change over because you're forcing them to do so? If this is the case, you may be missing one of life's important lessons: Nothing true can ever exist (or last) if it is done by force or by placing your agenda-filled ego as the main driver.

I know all relationship/friendship circumstances can be very different, and so the best solution for each can vary. BUT here is the essence that would be wise to bare in mind — and that is... if someone really wants to be a part of your life, they will really make an effort to be in it. There's no need for you to try so hard. 

At some point, we all make this "mistake" of trying too hard to change someone over. The truth is... it's okay to make this mistake once or twice so you can learn from it. After all, how can you learn from a place of comfort and convenience? HOWEVER, what's not okay is if after a few rounds of this kind of drama you still don't learn from it; you continue this habit of choice over and over again only to complain or feel angry about it.

You do not have to settle for being somebody's part-time, or somebody's some-of-the-time, or even somebody's when-they-have-time. You deserve somebody who can be there for you all the time; whether in person, in mind or at heart. 

You do not have to settle for anything that compromises your inner balance unless you choose to. Communicating truthfully and kindly to yourself and the other person is always KEY. Again, the choice is always yours to make. Ask yourself "What kind of choices do I truly want to experience in this lifetime?"

Yes, I know it's a tough choice to make especially if you're emotionally invested, but just keep in mind that when you stop chasing the wrong things, you will give the right things a chance to catch you.

Are you "stuck" in an unhealthy relationship?

If you truly want to change your life, you must first be willing to change your mind; whether it be social decisions, political conclusions, religious determinations, economic choices, or individual selection of everything from relationships to belief systems, everything in your life can only begin and end with you: through your thoughts, your words, your actions. In other words, your happiness is YOUR responsibility, not someone else's.

Every relationship you pursue is an opportunity for spiritual growth... they lead you to realize more and more that you must first create "well-beingness" for yourself before you can truly contribute or share "well-beingness" with another. After all, you can only truly give what you have.

Yes, perhaps deep down most of us understand this concept, but the challenge lies in "how"... How do you create this "well-beingness" for yourself? What if you're "stuck" in an unhealthy relationship and you don't know what to do? Read more here.

The power of gratitude and thanksgiving

Gratitude is powerful. It is difficult to start "trouble" with a person who is in a true state of gratitude. This divine state can influence human behaviour and neutralize even the biggest conflicts.

Gratitude is nothing short of nourishment for the soul. When you feel thankful each day for all the little things around you, a certain calm and peace washes over you that no man-made substance could ever compare in degree, safety and sustainability.

My dear friends, family, and clients, thank you today and everyday for being in my life in one capacity or another. Whether through your presence, support, conversations, comments, questions, constructive criticisms, or compliments, each of you serve a purpose in challenging me to become better at what I do and more importantly, inspiring me to be a better person all around. I am truly thankful for each of you.

Happy gobble gobble day to my fellow Americans! :) xo

P.S. Let's have thanksgiving everyday in our own way!

Something small like this can mean SO MUCH!

It's truly the little things you do in a relationship (or friendship) that really matters... this "I love you because..." is a great way to make someone feel special everyday—not just on special occasions. You can make your own erasable board (or just buy a mini white board) and put it up by the door.

Take turns writing something. You can make each other feel good everyday in just a matter of seconds. Get creative with your answer and you'll never run out of reasons why you love someone. Have fun with it! :)

P.S You can even do this with your kids! :)

Is it really happening or is it just in your head?

This is true of most of our suffering. Don't believe it? Go ahead and observe the kind of thoughts you project, predict, play and replay in your mind. Observe how much you may be living in your head instead of experiencing the present moment that is right in front of you. 

The what if's, could have's, should have's, they all live in your mind, they don't really exist in reality... They may exist in your head because you think it so, but that doesn't make it real—at least, not yet.

Anything that lives in your head is only but an illusion that can be made real by your actions in the present moment. Perhaps it would be wise to get out of living in your head and practice turning your attention to the present moment. 

Make a conscious effort today and everyday to choose thoughts that will serve you better, and be "here" (not in your head) to make choices that can take you a little closer to the things you want, rather than just "think" about the things you do not want.

A little food for thought to inspire your Monday

There's only so much space in your life—physically and energetically. Whatever you put your energy on (be it good or bad) will only intensify and attract more of the same to you.

So focus on choosing only the things you want, and make room for them in your life. You have to close one door before another can open; end one chapter before another can begin. This deliberate act of creating space in your life sends a powerful signal that can draw all the right people and things into your life.

So do not ask why the right things have not found you. Instead, recognize if you've been "unavailable" to receive? Perhaps you've been busy spending your energy chasing the wrong things? Could today be "the day" for you to close a door, or end a chapter so a new one can begin?

How to Make Up Your Mind: Decision-Making

Keeping things simple can be
very powerful.

With so many decisions to make in your daily life, how do you know if you're making the "right" one?

One scenario: Due to budget cuts, you may—or may not—be losing your job, and you're not sure if you should take the much-lower-paying job at another company or just stay where you are in case things work out.

Another: With the birth of your new baby, you need to move, and you can't make up your mind between the neighborhood with the good public school and the one where the houses are actually in your budget.

Yet another: After seven years together, your marriage has turned into a relentless series of bitter arguments, but you're not certain if you should try to reconcile or finally end the relationship.

Read the advice as shared by one of my mentors. He's one of the world's greatest spiritual leaders of our time, Eckhart Tolle. His teachings are profound...his writing follow suit...his presence is powerful. Follow his work and you'll see for yourself (that is, if you're ready to "awaken").

Read: How to Make Up Your Mind: Decision-Making.

This is worth a read!

World famous failures are also world famous successors!

Click on image to enlarge.

You cannot learn or grow from a place of total comfort and familiarity... only obstacles and challenges can exercise the muscles of your mind, heart and spirit.

And this is why "failure" or "mistakes" seem to be the only path to growth, expansion and success. There is no way around it—no short cuts. And even if you do find a short cut, it will be short-lived. "Failure" is inevitable if you want to achieve success. Paradox? Yes, perhaps. But that's life.

Failures are indeed blessings in disguise... however, it is a blessing that can move in your favor under one condition—and that is, if you deliberately choose to see it as an opportunity to learn and create a greater good, not delve deeper into the sorrow and self-pity.

The choice is always yours. Just remember: nothing can be a "mistake" if you've learned from it. Truly, you can always find something to learn from every mistake.

Study your favorite people and you'll find that their success did not come without "failures". Don't resist this natural flow of life, embrace it as an opportunity to achieve more.

Change your perception of failure into a positive one and your success will follow.

Are you as authentic as you think you are?

We live in a world where everything that exists (yes, including emotions) is made up of energy, and therefore, exudes a certain vibrational frequency on an energetic level; hence, the "energy" you exude from the way you feel as you're speaking is more important than the thing you are actually saying. In other words, your "core" intentions are more powerful than the words you utter.

It is your "core" feelings that will attract more of the same into your life. For example: even though you're saying "nice things," but deep down you're resentful and speaking from a place of anger, you will only attract more anger to you one way or another.

So you see, we cannot "trick" this energy field that surrounds us by "saying" one thing, but "feeling" another. This energy created from our "feeling" is precise, constant, and always in one way or another, giving us back exactly the "intentions" we exude regardless of the words we utter to express or impress.

So in order to attract more of what you want in life, perhaps it would be wise to be authentic... say what you feel and feel what you say.

Click here to read more: Law of Attraction: What is it and how can you make it work for you?