Could your deep-rooted limiting beliefs be holding you back?

One thing I know for sure is that our "beliefs"—our habitual thought pattern—is the thing that runs our life. It determines our state of being and becomes the way in which we live our life—be it rewarding or disempowering. This, of course, reflects in the quality of everything we do in this world. It is with this understanding that I deliberately choose to have all that I do derive from a deeper, more divine place in heart and mind.

We will never get it perfect or have our journey be something finite that we’ve finally figured out or finished. It will be a continued journey of change, discovery and reward. And so as long as you're residing in this imperfectly perfect human body, why not find a way to live your best life?

Start by checking in with your "beliefs". Have they served you well? Or...have they caused you much pain and suffering over the years? If the latter is the case, perhaps it's time to adopt new beliefs. 

Beliefs are simply patterns of thoughts. Most of what we operate on in our present-day life are the beliefs that were instilled in us from youth by parents or other authority figures. They can be as positive as “You can be and do anything as long as you believe” to something as negative as “You’re just not good enough” or “You don’t deserve to be loved.” These beliefs could have been instilled in you through words or perhaps through actions.

Of course, the negative installments are more of a concern. Your young mind so full of wonder and acceptance during those tender years only know to trust these so-called “negative truths”. L

Perhaps the authority's lack of knowledge on living a better life somehow got passed on to you and now you're living a life based on their "lacking beliefs” about you. You’ve become so identified with these imposing thoughts that you don’t even know you’re allowing them to stand in your way of who you are truly meant to be. You don't admire their life but you find yourself following their footsteps.

Perhaps it's time to break this pattern of living. Stop living with beliefs that derived from other people’s place of "lack". Instead, choose your own "abundant" thoughts. Focus on what makes you happy and don’t worry about what other people think. If you don’t stubbornly focus on your happiness first, you can’t share more joy with others.

So...how do you know what beliefs are running your life? Well, just look at what's going on in your life. Look for patterns, themes, listen to what you keep telling yourself. Be aware of your habitual thought patterns and see how they've been talking you in or out of things; and shine light on whether this "talking" has served you well or not.

I know I had to spend a huge chunk of my life unlearning what was instilled in my mind as a child; that I was stupid, ugly and didn't deserve to be loved. In order to heal mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I had to break away from this belief. It was a long process only because since youth, I was told I was a “slow learner” and so somehow I subliminally aligned myself to being a slow learner.

But none of these installments about me were even true. They were simply coming from people who lacked joy and inspiration in their own lives. Until I broke that pattern of negative belief by acknowledging it and practicing everyday to learn new, more rewarding thoughts in place of it, only could I create a paradigm shift and be here to share this today.

You don't have to take as long as I did to unlearn what isn't working and adopt new ways. You don’t have to learn the hard way and endure so much pain and suffering as I did. You can break negative thought patterns right now!

Today, my beliefs are mine. I deliberately chose them myself because of everything I've learned along the way. I no longer allow others to impose their thoughts on me. I'm so grateful for my new beliefs because they help me serve you better. J

I continually choose to live in a state of higher conscious-awareness; to help humanity heal through non-judgmental compassion and benevolent acceptance; to conduct myself from a place of present-moment grace; and to serve as a conduit for profound peace.

Make your new year a great one! Break negative patterns, and rid of limiting beliefs. Do what you've been wanting to do for so long… whatever that is. Do it once and for all!

Want some help to put everything into action and make your 2012 a year to remember? Check out free Life Classes on OWN. I know you will find something there that will light your fire and set you on the right track for the rest of the year! Happy new year, my dear friends! J

Beauty surrounds us each moment. Have you noticed?

Take time out to notice the beauty that surrounds you. We live in a world that is truly abundant. Don't miss out simply because you don't believe that this is so.. Please read this heart-felt story...

"In Washington DC, at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, a man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After about four minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About four minutes later, the violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At six minutes, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At ten minutes, a three-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At forty-five minutes: The musician played continuously. Only six people stopped and listened for a short while. About twenty gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After one hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?"

What it means to give in a relationship

Dearest Friends,

I've come to learn that no matter what kind of relationship you're in, a relationship is a place you go to give. It's not a place where you go to "deserve", or "owe". The latter two are not a thing of love but a thing of fear. If two people are in a relationship to give to one another, they would then have balanced their needs and wants, and given just a little more weight to the other's happiness.

In a true partnership, the kind worth striving for, the kind worth insisting on, and even, frankly, worth divorcing over, both people try to give as much, or even a little more than they get. "Deserves" is not the point. "Fair" is not the point. And "owes" is certainly not the point. The point is to make the other person as happy as we can, because their happiness adds to ours. The point is—in the right hands, everything that you give, you get. If both partners are in it to give to the other, then somehow life's inevitable challenges can become a much smoother, healthier, happier ride.

So for this holiday season, let's be reminded to not only give during the holidays, but to give all year... everyday. It doesn't have to be materialistic. A priceless gift of acknowledgment, understanding, compassion, even a smile, a hug... doesn't matter what it is or how you do it just as long as your intentions are truly to make the other person's day a little brighter without expecting anything in return. This unconditional way of being is the thing that makes you rich! Makes you feel alive! It can truly nurture your spirit and empower you like nothing else in this world can...

...I want to thank you for letting me into your homes and into your hearts through the videos, articles and news I share on Wellness With Penny.com. I'm grateful for your friendship and the inspiration it gives me to be able to do what I do. I hope that in some small way I've been able to nurture your mind, body and spirit through my work. Thank you for giving me the chance to do so.

Happy holidays to you and yours! I look forward to learning more and sharing more with you in the new year.

xoxo Penny

Your personal power truly comes from a path of least resistance

Learn to slow down and "respond" from a place of calm awareness, don't "react" from a place of fearful desperation. Being jumpy, needy and reactive to situations are not qualities of a person who has yet cultivated personal power. To cultivate personal power means when life gets challenging and you get disappointed, you do not struggle and fight against what is or is not happening for you as it's happening. Instead, learn to flow and take charge of what needs to happen next.

Nurture your inner child and you will experience true joy from within

We all have an inner child. Let him or her out to play everyday. Don't lock them up and shut them down. It's okay to cry, be angry, get frustrated and feel sad. A child would not hide these feelings for they are authentic, and so it is that you, too, are authentic when you express your truth. Don't lose that inner child in you. Don't confine to logic all the time. Be courageous and use your imagination. ‎Sure, logic can get you from one place to the next, but imagination will take you everywhere! 

Use this world as a discovery center, explore everything as a child would, get curious, wonder, inquire, try new things, mess around with new ways of doing things, toy with ideas, play with nature, venture out of your comfort zone. Don't take yourself so seriously... when something goes "wrong", instead of saying "Oh, no!" learn to say "Oh, well..."

Deep down, you and I are no different...

You and I are not so different

We are all the same. Deep down, at the core of each and every one of us, we all have the same needs. We may be different in our approach, but that does not make us different. We all have the capacity to love and to hate, to be kind and to be destructive, to be hurtful and to be caring. 

Some people have so much battling in their mind, they may temporarily lose their way (or lose their Selves). It could very well be you, or me. So before we judge others who have done us wrong or do things we do not agree with, perhaps we should have some compassion and be thankful that life hasn't yet provoked us to show all our dark colors.

Though you may not have been pushed to completely unleash your distasteful side, it doesn’t mean that given the "right" circumstances, you wouldn't become "that" person you dislike. 

You are a better person to have compassion, understanding and deep acceptance that life is challenging for each of us... that you and I are equal, no matter what our exterior may show. Deep down we are no different. Whatever it is that we are doing, we are doing it because we all want to be happy, we all want to be safe, and we all want to be loved.

A healthy way to move forward in life...

Everyday is a new day...no

two days can ever be the same

Before you can learn a new, more positive way of being, you have to unlearn the old way. If not, you would only end up carrying a part of your old ways into the new, compromising the intended good of the new...so when it's time for a change, learn to end one thing before beginning another; close one door before opening another; end one chapter of your life before beginning a new...

Why you shouldn't be so hard on your Self

Life is about embracing

both the light and the dark

Just when you think you got a grip on how life works and you're ready to be calm and confident… you trip! Or something doesn't go your way and you find yourself “losing it” all over again. And then, you get mad at yourself for it. Please stop. Don't be so hard on yourself…

Realizing your higher Self, attaining inner peace or achieving divine confidence... in other words, "being more spiritual," does not make you or me better or right. It simply makes us more aware. That is all. Nothing more. It is what you do with that awareness that determines the amount of joy you experience in life. With deep awareness, you can make better decisions.

I've come to learn that no matter how much we find our way again, we continue to lose our way at some point, only to have to find our way again. Sometimes this "down time" lasts only a few seconds, sometimes days, months or even years. And so I've come to realize through my own life's trials and tribulations that…

Life is indeed a continued journey of inquiring, discovering and re-discovering; fighting so you can get tired of fighting and so surrender to life's higher intelligence and divine order; losing so you can experience winning all over again; getting off track so you can again experience the joy of getting back on track.

Life is indeed a journey of losing yourself so you can experience and re-experience the deep peace and inner fulfillment that comes with finding your Self again. You will see for yourself no matter how "good" you get in life, you will still lose it at times. Just know that's okay. That's how life works; a journey of repeating joy, of discovering and re-discovering your state of balance again, and again.

This is the only way your spirit can build more courage, strength and wisdom. There is no other way. So embrace the paradox of life. Embrace the light and the dark… Light can only appear when it is dark, and darkness can only exist in the absence of light. In other words, both “good” (light) and “bad” (darkness) are necessary to create a whole picture. And so it is that you, too, have to be the “good” and the “bad” in order to be whole. See the irony here?

So don't be so hard on your Self. It isn't you, it is just the way life works. Don't fight it or over analyze it. Just embrace it and it will embrace you back tenfold. This much, I know for sure.

How to draw more fulfillment into your life

Here's to our one ultimate goal!

No matter how you look at it, you really only have one ultimate goal, and that is, fulfillment. You want to feel fulfilled in some way. In a world of constant demands and daily distractions, it helps to come up with a phrase that can guide you to make the best decision in every moment. A simple phrase such as: "I choose anyone or anything that can bring me more fulfillment." Use this phrase as your baseline when making decisions. 

Only you know what fulfills you. So choose the things (attitude, people, places, events, materials) that you feel can bring more fulfillment to your life, and pay less attention to things that take you away from fulfillment (your ultimate goal). Just keep it simple. There's no reason to make things anymore complicated.

What it means to have a kindred spirit experience

I met another kindred spirit yesterday... and so the connection blossomed instantaneously. When it comes to meetings of kindred spirits, it has nothing to do with how long you've known the person, but more, how quickly you connect. We could have talked for hours... the conversation flowed effortlessly. Feelings were heartfelt during pauses when nothing was said.

There was no ego, therefore, no judgement toward one another. Our child within was safe to come out to play and share. There was an immense feeling of mutual kindred love, trust and respect that filled our hearts with gratitude. This is just a glimpse into the human's higher Self in action. It's enlightening.

Let's all make a conscious effort to conduct our lives from a place of higher Self and create more kindred spirit experiences in this lifetime.

What would you like to see unfold in your life?

From Penny and the Chopra Center, in remembrance of September 11 

Dear Readers,

This weekend marks the 10th anniversary of the tragic events of 9/11. The Chopra Center would like to honor the many heroes who on that day gave their lives to save others.

To all the rescue workers, volunteers, the New York City Fire Department, the passengers on Flight 93 who bravely fought their captors, and the countless unnamed people who offered love and comfort in the face of unspeakable violence - our gratitude is overwhelming.

To all of those who lived and kept going after losing husbands, wives, children, parents, friends, co-workers, our hearts are filled with compassion. And to our military servicemen and women who continue to dedicate their lives to protecting and expanding freedom throughout the world, we offer our deepest thanks.

As we take time this weekend to consider what 9/11 has meant to us both individually and collectively, we invite you to also consider what you wish to see unfold in the next ten years. Chopra center co-founder, Dr. David Simon has created a beautiful intention-setting meditation that will help you connect with your heart and put your attention on what you'd like to see blossom in your life and on the planet.

As he has written, "The greatest contribution we can make to the wellbeing of those in our lives is to have peace in our own hearts. Our state of being broadcasts expansion or contraction to every sentient creature within our midst. When our hearts are filled with gratitude and our minds are brimming with enthusiasm, everyone we encounter leaves our space feeling a little bit lighter than when they entered it."

  

With Love From,

Penny & The Chopra Center Staff

How to Tune In to the Voice Within

You possess a wise and gentle inner voice deep within you that is always there ready to lead you down the right path, but this voice within can only be heard if you consciously choose to listen. 

Because this voice is wise and loving, you will never hear it bark orders at you, but only share through gentle whispers. This is why most of us have a tough time believing its existence, let alone know to listen to it. 

To hear this inner wisdom, you have to quiet your mind from its constant chatter, calm your inner space. When you do, you will recognize this wise voice within guiding you in every moment, helping you navigate through life, leading you to fulfillment. Recognize this true inner voice and learn how to tune in to it. Read: How to Tune In to the Voice Within

Thoughts to nurture your spirit...

Your spirit is the most precious part of
you. Make time to nurture it.

It hurts to dream only if you don't believe in what you're dreaming. And it hurts to make changes in your life if you try to do it all at once—overwhelming yourself. Be kind to yourself as only you can. Make one small change each day and pretty soon these changes will accelerate exponentially, forming what we call miracles. 

Even miracles take time; it's a process. Just because we cannot observe miracles the way we marvel over magic tricks—with instantaneous gratification—does not mean they are not occurring...

Start everyday anew, just as nature does. Just know that nothing can be a mistake if you've learned from it. So forgive yourself, treat yourself as you would a younger sibling...or a precious friend (or pet). 

Never stop dropping pebbles in a pond

Our decisions have a rippling effect

For the past few weeks, I've been having dreams of being home in Malaysia spending time with my relatives. I didn't realize how much I miss them until I started having these reoccurring dreams. But…perhaps it's more accurate to say that I’ve been distracting myself so I wouldn't miss them.

Now my subconscious is nudging me to face the truth. So I admit, I’ve been feeling a little off lately. I strive to live a balanced life as best as I know how, and right now, I don't feel balanced. The last time this happened, I got through it and had this to share… a part of me…

Please read and enjoy: Never Stop Dropping Pebbles In A Pond

(This was shared six years ago. So much has changed since, but the lesson and experience remains strong in my heart...)

Simple healthy lifestyle choices you can adopt right now

Do little things to honor yourself and
you will feel good. When you feel
good, you tend to do more good

With today's information technology and major awakening in the human race to be healthier and to help one another, you can always find the support to help you shift towards a healthier lifestyle, anytime. As a matter of fact, you can even start right here, right now.

Adopt these 3 healthy lifestyle choices to treat your body right and you can bet that other areas in your life will slowly (in some cases, quickly) follow in this same healthy direction.

Read: 3 healthy lifestyle choices you can adopt right now to treat your body right

In order to experience Love to the fullest degree, you need to understand this…

Love is not for us to
judge... it is for us
to appreciate

People seem to live their best life when they’re in love.

I wish for everyone to find love because I noticed that people who are in love always seem to be in a better mood and it reflects in everything they say and do. And this positively affects the people around them as well.

Some people, when in love, feel they can do anything with their lover by their side; some feel their lover bring out the best in them; and others, are simply in a constant state of gratitude for having found their lover.

Whatever the case, I find that these strong feelings of love, inspiration or gratitude drive the person feeling them to do better, and be better. And this is what I mean when I say: People seem to live their best life when they’re in love.

Though love is only a four-letter
word, its depth and beauty
makes our language seem so
limiting when we try to define
it in its entirety

I’ve come to learn not to judge anyone’s love for another. Whether it be love between a younger man and an older woman (or vise versa), love between two men or two women, love that some would consider “wrong,” “odd,” or whatever else… why does it matter if they feel love for one another? How can it be so bad or so wrong if people are feeling love in their hearts?

Those feeling in love are some of the ones who feel inspired to do good – to do better. And this is the kind of energy we want more of in this world. This is the kind of energy that creates worlds and changes lives in the most positive ways. So why put a rule on who we can love?

Anything deriving from a place of true love has only ever added to this world, not taken away from it.

Love has a way of
keeping you young
at heart.. no matter
how old you get

People who stop love from happening by spending time judging what should or shouldn’t be – based on their concept of what’s right, wrong, good or bad – are usually the ones who are taking away a bit of the magic that happens in this world. So, where do your thoughts lie in all this?

Regardless, just remember that love shows itself through different faces, styles and forms. What doesn’t look “right” to you may be perfectly right for another. There’s always somebody out there for every one, of every kind. And that’s a wonderful feeling to know. It’s not for us to judge, but only for us to learn to be open and to appreciate.

Bottom line: If there’s love between two people, how is that so “bad”? In fact, that is simply beautiful. That is simply, magical. When you learn to truly appreciate the depth and beauty of love, regardless of whom it’s between, you can be certain that you, too, will draw to yourself the kind of love your heart truly desires.

How you perceive “reality” and “illusion” will change the quality of your life

Reality is all about perception

When you were born into this life, you probably learned that what you see in front of you is “reality.” But were you told that this is only partly true because reality is all about perception?

You and I could be looking at the same thing, person or situation, but it doesn’t mean that we will perceive or interpret it the same way. How we perceive something or someone becomes our “reality” – the factor that either motivates or discourages us. And the interpretation of reality that we choose to believe will inevitably affect the quality of the life we live.

We’ve been taught through generations, by society and authority figures, that what we see is real. Perhaps this is partly true, however, there’s more to this notion than meets the eye; and it is this missing part that isn’t really taught to us. We have to figure it out ourselves through trial and error.

And through heart-breaking trials and errors of my own, and of others, I have certainly made my share of valuable discoveries, and can today confidently share my experiences in hope to contribute to the quality of your life.

With that said, let me ask you this:

What if life could be even more rewarding if only you made a slight shift in the way that you think? Would you make this shift? Would you be open enough to adjust your perception of life?

It is the heart and mind
that controls the
external reality

What if what you see is not “reality,” but is only a vision that presents a challenge so that you are reminded to make the best decision you can, given the circumstances? What if what you see is an illusion, and what you choose is the ultimate reality? How would you live life then?

Would you spend time complaining and dwelling on the very displeasing thing that is happening before your eyes? Or would you see it as an opportunity to choose something that feels better to you?

You see, it is not what you see that creates your reality; it is the choices you make from what you see that creates your reality.

This means whatever displeasing thing you see, no matter how real it may appear to you, can only remain real if you choose to spend your energy (thoughts and emotions) there; in other words, you are most likely gossiping or complaining about it, and/or feeling strong emotions toward it. Simply put, you’re spending your energy in that “place.”

Whatever you spend your energy on can no longer remain an illusion. Instead, it becomes your reality.

And while you’re there – in this displeasing illusion you’ve given so much of your attention to – you begin to attract more events and people that don’t seem to be of any help to you either. And so, of course, this “illusion” then becomes even more of a “reality” to you.

So you see, the thing that matters most is not so much what you see, but what you choose. The minute you choose to direct all your attention to a subject, it has then become your reality. Without your attention to it, it remains less powerful, still somewhat of an illusion.

And even in making new decisions, keep in mind that it may not always be a choice that makes you happy right away. And that’s okay. It need only be a choice that makes you feel a bit better than the moment before.

In every moment, you can change
the course of an event by making
a different choice

Then from there, in that next moment, you choose the next thing that makes you feel a bit better than the moment before that. The key is to deliberately repeat this method of decision-making from one moment to the next, and not give up part way.

This kind of deliberate consistency can become very powerful as it creates a positive momentum. And slowly, but surely, these so called “little” steps will start to take shape in your favor.

These “little” steps are the moves that will set your sails in life. When you make a conscious effort to use what you see in front of you as an opportunity to set your sails in a direction of your choice, then, when the wind blows (as it always will), you can be certain to sail where you wish to go, more effortlessly.

As you go about your day, just remember: In every moment, you can change the course of an event by making a different choice. After all, it is the heart and mind that controls the external reality.

The truth about "Perfection"

Read: “Perfection” exists only to tell you this truth…

The nature of life and relationships: What it means to go with the flow

There are things in life that you cannot change – they are simply the nature of the way things are and they will remain the way they are no matter how hard you try to change them.

The sooner you understand and accept the nature of these things, the healthier and more peaceful your life will be; you would know when to let go so that things can flow for you. You won’t feel the need to force others to conform to what you perceive as “right.”

Allow me to elaborate.

There are definite “Laws” that exist in this Universe. If you do not understand and accept these Laws with a peaceful attitude, it is like being a bad sport playing a game at which you do not understand and accept the rules. In other words, you will be in it only to lose.

The Laws of this Universe is constant and absolute: gravity is meant to keep us on the ground; the earth is meant to spin; the sun is meant to shine, just as surely as dogs are meant to bark; babies are meant to wail; and people are meant to have differences that set them apart from one another.

There’s nothing you can do to change the nature of these things.

Some people you will get along with, and some, you’re not meant to get along with; instead, you’re meant to learn from them, and then move along. This is just the natural flow of life. It is not right, wrong, good or bad. It is just the way it is.

If you constantly feel the need to label things as right, wrong, good or bad, you’re not allowing “nature” to take its course. With this, you may feel annoyed wondering why things are the way they are; you may have a tough time accepting these things as they are “meant to be,” therefore, you may find it difficult to go with “the flow of life.”

As a result of this, you could be sabotaging your own peace of mind and not even know it. Furthermore, you may often find yourself disappointed, even though you may put on a different show on the exterior.

Often we try so hard to go against the nature of certain people in our lives. Instead of simply sharing with them what would work for us and why, we force to change them to do things our way. We want to feel that we’re right and that they’re wrong.

Many of you have arrived at collective preferences about how life should be lived; and while you have come nowhere close to an agreement about what the appropriate way to live is, still, on the countless subjects that you are experiencing, you continue to try to convince others to accept the preferences that you most prefer.

And even then, here’s the thing: so what if you think you’re “right”?

No matter how right you think you are, if the nature of the person you’re dealing with is marching to the beat of a different drum, they cannot hear you. This person could be a friend, parent, partner or even co-worker. You would only be counterproductive fighting against this person’s nature, forcing them to do or see things your way.

You cannot win with force. And if you do, it will only be short-lived, or disappointing in the long-term. Why? Because “nature” in itself is a force to be reckoned with, so fighting the “nature” of a person or thing will only proof to tire you out because you’re going against that which is meant to be – that which is the flow of life.

Fighting the nature of any person is like telling the birds to stop flying, or the wind to stop blowing. It won’t happen. It can’t because it is in their nature to exist this way in this moment in time.

Maybe things could change one day. When and if they do, you can shift gears accordingly. But for now, they are the way they are, and so you must accept them for what they are, and flow with how it is.

So it is in your best interest to understand and accept the nature of certain people as they are. With this deep understanding and acceptance comes a peace of mind that will allow you to let go of fighting against the nature of people’s character. This alone would release the burden blocking the flow in your life.

It is the nature of life that in your lifetime, you will meet or even fall in love with people whose nature may not bring out the best in you, but this does not mean you can’t say anything.

You can say everything you need to say and share everything you feel, however, if you want to flow with the intelligence of life, you must do this without fighting and forcing. If you want a healthy outcome for your Self, you must share with honesty and tact.

You must speak up with positive intentions for the greater good. This means you share with an attitude filled with deep acceptance for whatever the outcome. How do you do this? Listen well, speak your truth, say your peace, and know when to move along to the next best thing you can do in a given moment…

…Choose to expect nothing, yet be prepared for anything. In “being” this way, you would be aligning yourself with the natural intelligence of life and things will slowly begin to shift in your favor. You will know you are in alignment with this higher intelligence when no matter what the outcome, you sense a feeling of calm in your heart.

Allow others to be as they wish to be. If they choose to march to the beat of a different drum, let them. Allow nature to take its course. It is not your job to try and control and change anyone, but it is your job to use the experience as a guide to making better choices for yourself.

Act as a guide to others and lead by example. Those who are ready and on your same page will follow – those are the kinds of people you want to fill your life with.

Use the differences you share with others as an opportunity to pay close attention to your

Self so you can make better choices when it comes to the kind of people you surround yourself with. Deliberately choose to be around people who bring out the best in you – people who are a close match to your nature.

And remember: the nature of life in this time-space dimension that we live in is that there will always be a lag time between your new-found way of living, and the way you were living before.

Realize that when you’re correcting the errors of the past, you may feel some form of negative emotion from that past overlapping into your present state. It is normal.

Realize that this “lag time” is just another thing of nature and will take its course as things begin to shift for you. So don’t give up if things don’t go your way immediately. Just know that they will eventually go your way if you stay true to the plan long enough. And how can you know this for sure? Well...

...you would be glad to know that as nature would have it, it is “Law” that what goes up will come down eventually – just as surely as no matter how challenging a moment can be, it, too, will have to pass eventually. How quickly it passes will be up to you: it will depend on your willingness to understand and accept the nature of life and go with its flow until you know.

What can you do if you’re “stuck” in an unhealthy relationship?

Time and time again, I hear from readers who stay in unhealthy relationships for all the saddest reasons. And even though they’re aware of this rut they’re in, they have a tough time with ending the relationship and moving on. So in light of this dilemma, I want to share the following article.

Are you in an unhealthy relationship because you’re feeling too guilty to leave? Maybe you made some mistakes and feel the need to make up for it by staying. Maybe you discovered that you and your partner are just not compatible anymore but you’ve invested too much time to just walk away from it now.

First off, a mistake is only a mistake if you haven’t yet learned from it. If you feel you’ve learned from your mistakes and have done everything you can possibly do to make your relationship work and yet it hasn’t worked, then perhaps it’s time to check in with your Self again.

If for whatever reason you feel that leaving is not an option at this time, then let’s look at what you can do to make the best of the situation so things can begin to slowly shift toward a positive direction.

Also, keep in mind that a shift will either bring you both closer together, or it will give you the push you need to move on once and for all. Are you ready to make this shift no matter what the outcome? If you are, read on.

So let’s say you stay in this unhealthy relationship for the time being. It will be inevitable that you feel resentment. After all, this choice you’re making is causing an imbalance in your life and your body will feel all sorts of negative feelings to warn you, to guide you, to protect you. So these negative feelings are normal if you choose to stay.

So first things first: It is not your job to diagnose your partner. There’s no point finding fault or putting blame. Bottom line, if you want things to shift toward a positive direction, you have to adopt a “higher level attitude” and learn to let go of whatever it is that you’ve been doing simply because it has not been working.

Instead, adopt a gracious attitude and know that it’s nobody’s fault. You and your partner are just not compatible in this moment in time, period – nothing more, nothing less.

It is not your job to try and fix them, unless you want to make it your job. If that were the case, just keep in mind that if you’re trying to pull a weight much heavier than you can handle, they could pull you down with them.

So for whatever reasons of your own, if you choose to remain with someone whose behavior continues to displease you, then you need to find a way to protect yourself from being sucked into their negative pattern – a pattern of behavior that can bring out the worse in you.

You cannot control how other people choose to be, but the one thing you can control is how you, yourself, choose to be. How you act can alter other people's behavior. So how have you been acting?

You have to change the way you act if you want a different result. If you keep dealing with things the same way, you'll be getting the same results.

Earlier I mentioned adopting a “higher level attitude” and learning to let go. What this means is in order for anything to shift toward a positive direction for you, you must adopt a behavior that serves a higher purpose – a bigger picture.

There are many ways to do this, and just to give you some ideas, here is an example you could adopt: From today onwards, you make a conscious effort that every thought you have, every word you utter and every deed you perform is done with deliberate intent to bring some benefit to anyone who comes in contact with you.

If you adopt this attitude, everything about the way you handle things will begin to shift.

Everything you do will come from a stronger, more stable place. This will truly empower you, and your life will slowly shift toward a more positive direction regardless of your partner’s behavior.

By adopting this attitude, instead of getting drawn into melodrama, you will just want to let it go. And I mean really let it go. You won’t want to do or say anything simply to “react,” instead, you will want to “respond” with deliberate intent for positive change.

Practice not joining your partner when he or she does anything that displeases you. Not joining means not reacting or being any part of it to add more fuel to the fire – not getting angry, not answering back or showing a bad attitude about it.

Contributing your energy to continue in any negative manner is like you choosing to join in on the drama. So if you don't want the drama, you must LET IT GO when it happens. You have to NOT JOIN in.

Instead, calmly observe every detail in front of you, feel it completely without judgement, listen closely, and if you feel the urge to attack or defend, before you do so, remember the “higher level attitude” you’ve adopted – remember your intent to bring benefit into any situation with every move you make.

Remember all of this before you respond and it will alter your state. And it is in this altered state that your respond to your partner will be a very different one from what they’re used to getting from you. You may even be pleasantly surprised at your own tactful respond.

Holding this kind of higher awareness during any event will allow you to feel a very powerful sea of calm and strength within you – the kind that will allow you to first let your partner finish what he or she is displaying before you proceed with saying how you feel about things and what you wish to have happened instead.

Also, it is very important that this “matter of fact” point that you make to your partner be delivered from a neutral place within you.

Once you've spoken, just walk away and do not participate in it anymore. Let your partner go on as long as he or she wants. But you need only tell your truth nicely, and you're done, just walk away. And again, remember, your truth has to, like I said, come from a neutral place within you.

This means stick to the facts and keep your cool. You can't say things to be manipulative or condescending or you would be defeating the whole purpose of not participating in the drama that you do not appreciate.

And you have to be patient and do this consistently every time. If you do this consistently and frequently, slowly things will begin to shift. Your partner will subliminally associate their ways to getting no “reaction” whatsoever, and their negative behavior will eventually diminish in intensity.

It will diminish in intensity because there's no fuel for it to feed on. Nothing can survive for long without the very thing that keeps it alive. In this case the thing that has kept it alive has been your constant reaction to it.

Even when you "purposely ignore" your partner, you’re still participating. You’re still trying to show them your anger, you're still trying to proof your point, therefore, you’re still participating in this very thing that upsets you, hence, you add more fuel to the drama. To stop the drama, you have to take yourself out of it.

If you choose this “higher thinking” approach I suggested here, you will both either learn to appreciate one another and agree to work on growing together, or, grow further apart and go your separate ways.

Remember, it takes two to keep this game going, this fire burning. So if only one of you were to stop playing, the game cannot go on, there would be no fuel to feed the fire, and the fire will eventually die.

With this, you could either come together to work on a fresh start, or you could discover you’re much better off walking away for good. In either case, you would still come out a winner for you would find love again with the right partner. And furthermore, you would have become a better person from having been through pain with utmost integrity and grace.