Being “turned down” is not so bad after all

This article is in respond to BH who had three dates cancel on her (all in a row). Even after she shared a connection with them and had many great conversations over the phone, her first date with them never happened.

BH, we are not meant to be with everyone we meet. Imagine how distracting that would be if it were so – not to mention we would be all over the place, yet nowhere in particular. And that “special” bond or connection that two people share won’t be the same.

Anyway, I want to share something that may make you feel better.

I saw a dating show last night where a guy was paired with three other women to date and choose from. We (the audience) can clearly see that he was a real wholesome kind of guy, young and looking to get married; and the ladies had the same ultimate goal.

All three ladies felt a connection with him – they all shared things in common with him. So needless to say, all three got along with him and really liked him. But was he their "type"? Well, that was a different story.

He liked all three ladies, but chose one he was most interested in. At the end, when it was time for all to meet up for another chance to date, all three ladies walked away from the opportunity – all three felt that he just wasn’t their type.

Imagine his disappointment. All three ladies showed interest in the beginning, but after further thoughts about dating this young man, they decided it was best to walk away. Not because he wasn't cute, kind, cool or smart; it was just that there wasn’t a strong enough chemistry and the ladies didn’t feel the need to proceed with dating.

For me, the two most important elements in a relationship are mutual respect and attraction. What I find most attractive in a man is when we both share these elements ‘together.’ If anytime these elements are missing, it serves as a signal to me that he’s not the right man for me and there’s no need to invest in growing the relationship.

In the case of the young man and three ladies, it wasn’t so much about mutual respect, but about not having mutual attraction. Regardless, even if one of the two elements is missing, the relationship can be a difficult one to grow.

So in a way, with their decisions, the ladies did this young man a favor – they saved him from any more invested emotions.

Though he may not be their ideal man, it doesn’t mean he can’t be an ideal man for another woman. After all, he was attractive, smart and had a great personality. The right woman for him will be one with whom he shares mutual attraction (as well as respect). He would be far happier with a woman like this, don’t you think? ☺