There is no reason for you to shrink when you get older

On my last post I promised I would give you more valuable information about your body that you’re going to want to share with people you love. But first, before you read any further, please be sure you’ve read my article: Alkalize: It will change your life! (Click here to read.)

If you don’t first read and understand what is shared in that article about pH balance, and acid/alkaline in your body, you won’t fully understand what I’m about to share here. So read that article first, then only continue reading below:

Ever wonder why it is that when people get older they often shrink? The reason is because when a person lives an acid lifestyle, after the body goes through its reserves, and after it stores in the fat, guess what’s next? It needs calcium – and so it continuously leeches it from your bones.

And as your bones get weaker and weaker, your body gets more and more compressed. So you see, the reason you shrink is not because you’re getting “old,” but because your bones are weak as a result of your body being too acidic throughout your life, and your body is now leeching from those bones.

And with this, you begin to break down in many other ways including your muscles getting flabby as the acid eats it away. Get more alkalinity in your diet and in your fluids so your body can deal with this and not have to pull from your reserves.

Most of what we consume including the air (pollution) we breathe is acidic. Even our negative thoughts alone create acid in our body. This is why it is so important to alkalize your body throughout your life. Discomfort, illness or any form of dis-ease cannot thrive in an

environment that is alkaline.

Again, don’t just take my word for it. Do your own research, get a second or third opinion from highly credible sources and you’ll find out the truth about this for yourself.

Learn about health as much as possible. Do this for yourself and the people you love so you can all learn to live a long, healthy life enjoying each other’s company. ☺

Don’t wish it were easier – wish you were better!

I know I’ve repeated this more than twice: In order for things around you to change, the first thing that must change is you. Change has to begin with you
– not the other way around. You cannot control everything around you, but the one thing you can control is yourself. Change begins when you change the way you think, the way you perceive what is good or bad, right or wrong, and the way you act rather than react.

So if you’re wishing that life could be easier, or your relationship could be easier – just stop! Stop wishing it were easier. It would not serve you as well as if you wished you were better. Find ways to be better, and things can get easier.

When it comes to life and relationships, we all can do better if we choose to. The first step is to be humble. Without humility, it’s hard to recognize things about ourselves in which we can improve.

I recently commented on an article posted by America’s leading dating and relationship expert, Evan Marc Katz. I liked what he shared with his readers about humility and finding love. I feel it could initiate some of you to constructively look at yourself and humbly make changes that can lead you to find true love…

Would you pass up you? by Evan Marc Katz

Let’s face it: we’re hypocrites. We’re not necessarily evil, but we have a remarkable capacity to compartmentalize our thinking. It’s what allows some of us, as liberals, to look for extra tax deductions when we know the government needs more money. It’s what allows us to post scathing commentary about strangers online without considering what it would feel like to be the recipient of such commentary. Basically, hypocrisy is what allows us to get out of bed every day – as it’s easier to focus on others’ flaws than it is to focus on our own.

Nowhere is this more apparent than the dating arena. I meet single people every day who talk about their refusal to settle – without realizing that someone, in some capacity, has to settle on them.

For years, I coasted on the fact that I was kind, intelligent, funny and ambitious. Focusing solely on my good traits – and sweeping my bad traits under the rug – allowed me to dissect each and every woman who crossed my path. I could pass her up because she’s a workaholic, because she’s a few years older, because she’s got a few extra pounds, because she’s sarcastic. Yet I rarely put any time into thinking how she put up with a guy who is moody, neurotic, high-maintenance, and somewhat negative.

This realization – this tearing down of ego – was the big step that opened me up to my relationship with my wife. I started to appreciate the idea that, despite my good qualities, there was a whole lot of forgiving one had to do to be my partner. And I would intimate that if you consider what someone else is sacrificing to be with you – whether you’re asking them to concede on height, weight, age, income, health, temperament, personality, etc – you will be a lot more forgiving of others in the future.

This concept is at the core of what I cover in my coaching: humility, not arrogance – is a big key to finding love.

My comment to Evan:
Evan, if I had read this article in my early twenties I would have said, “Are you crazy?? I’m the bomb! The only thing guys would be settling for when it comes to me is that they’d be settling in line to be with me.” (Lol.)

Needless to say, I’m not in my early twenties anymore (that was a long time ago). Anyway, my point is I’ve come a long way and am thankful for all my flaws. It was in recognizing that I’m not “the bomb” that I thought I was, and humbling myself enough to learn from the pain and the mistakes, only then was I truly happy with me. I guess we all have to grow up sometime (sooner better than later).

Also, I’ve learned that humility never goes out of style. I hope I will always remain humble enough to be forgiving and work on improving myself. I believe that self-improvement is a fulfillingly endless journey. To choose not to learn, grow and improve for yourself and your relationship is like saying you don’t want to live a purposeful life – a choice in which I’ve personally chosen not to adopt.

I may not think I’m “the bomb” anymore, but I know I’m growing into a finer lady every day. Your article assured me that I’m on the right path as long as I remain humble enough to recognize how I can consistently grow and improve for myself, and my relationship…I guess I could say I’m somewhat “the bomb” for being this way! ;)

Check in for my next post to find out more facts about your body that will change the way you treat it. Stay tuned...you're going to want to share this with people you love. I promise!

Suprise someone with flowers today. You'll make their day!

Proven secrets for creating great relationships (Part 5 of 5)

Here we are – the last of the 5-part mini course offered by Relationship Coaches and Authors, Susie and Otto Collins. I hope you’ve enjoyed Lesson 1 to 4 on previous posts. Here they share with us the final Lesson: Proven secrets for creating great relationships.

Lesson 5
What it takes to succeed in creating a great relationship is...

…the commitment to not run away and hide when things get tough.

One of the things we learned very early in our relationship was that we each had a tendency in our previous relationships to shut down emotionally and even physically run away when things got tough. Because we recognized that this pattern can create big problems in relationships, we made the commitment to each other that we would not make the same mistake in our relationship.

We committed that we would stay present with each other and not run away, either emotionally or physically. Sounds like a great commitment but we've discovered that it can be a challenge to keep.

What we are sure of is that this principle of not running away has made our relationship stronger, increased trust between us and has helped to create the close, connected feeling that we have with each other.

What does it take to not run away and hide when things get tough?

Here are some tips to help you and your partner if you choose to make this commitment to each other:

1. Find out what your patterns are when there's conflict between the two of you or conflict with someone else. What do you immediately do? Lash out in anger? Put up walls between you and the other person and pull all of your energy inside yourself? Leave the room? What does your partner do when this happens?

2. If you decide that you don't want to create these harmful patterns anymore, decide how you would like to act in those situations. Change can take time and it usually means taking "baby steps" in moving toward the behavior you want so be patient with yourself. It's important that you focus on you and your patterns rather than what your partner is doing. Always start with yourself and if you keep pointing your finger outward toward your partner, just know that you will probably stay stuck in the same "dance" that you've been in. We urge you to commit to changing "you."

3. Ask for help if you find that you unconsciously go into your patterns. This may be help from

your partner who can lovingly point them out to you (only if you agree how you'd like him/her to do this). It may also be that you need support from a coach, therapist or even a friend. If you choose a friend, choose someone who can lovingly tell you the truth about your actions and not someone who will either be critical of you or sugar coat the truth.

If you want a great relationship, learning how to stay present and talk and listen is just about the most important skill you can learn.

There you have it! I hope you’ve enjoyed the insights and advice on my last 5 posts. What’s most important is that you’re actively applying in your relationship what you’ve learned here. As you become great in relationships, your ability to capture more from what you read also gets better. So come back often and review what’s been shared here. You’d be surprised with how you pick up on things you missed the first time around.

On my next post, joined by thoughts from America’s leading dating and relationship expert, we’ll touch on how humility can find you true love. Stay tuned…

Proven secrets for creating great relationships (Part 4 of 5)

You’re almost done with this mini course offered by Relationship Coaches and Authors, Susie and Otto Collins. Don’t stop now… Here they share with us Lesson 4: Proven secrets for creating great relationships.

Lesson 4
Perhaps one of the biggest reasons that people fail in relationships is...

They aren't clear about what they want, what's important to them and their lives aren't in alignment with their values.

Before you can tell others what you want, you have to know what is important to you. We've discovered that many relationships that are in trouble are in the shape they are in because one or both people either don't know what's important to them or their actions aren't in alignment with their values.

We'll explain what we mean...

Many people say they want a great relationship but they spend the majority of their time at work or attending social and community groups, leaving very little if any time to connect with their partner.

We suggest that you be very clear inside yourself how you want to live your life and then live it accordingly. If you say your kids are the most important people in your life, then spend time with them. If you say your connection to your partner is most important, then allow your life to reflect that. Do whatever is necessary to first find out what you truly value and then begin spending your time and energy cultivating those areas of your life.

A good way to begin doing this is to make a list of what is most important to you and then rank the items in your list. Then chart how you actually spend your time for one week. Next, compare your list of what you value most with how you are actually spending your time.

Ask yourself these questions:
"Am I spending my time according to what I value most?"
"How can I pay attention more to the things that I value most?"

If one of those "things" that you value most is your relationship and you aren't spending the time and energy to keep it growing and strong, begin to find ways to do that. If you do, your relationship stands a much better chance of lasting and growing into something very wonderful.

Look for Lesson #5 on my next post.

Suprise someone with flowers today. You'll make their day! (By the way, women, don't forget men like getting flowers, too! :)

Proven secrets for creating great relationships (Part 3 of 5)

Did you read Lesson 1 and 2 of the mini course offered by Relationship Coaches and Authors, Susie and Otto Collins? If so, I hope you’re also applying what is being taught. Here they share with us Lesson 3: Proven secrets for creating great relationships.

Lesson 3
A little known secret about creating a great relationship is...
The importance of living by the Platinum Rule® instead of the Golden Rule.

When we were young, most of us were taught the Golden Rule.

This may surprise you but we think using the Golden Rule as a guideline for your relationships is a recipe for disaster and here's why.

The Golden Rule says this: "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." The problem with the Golden Rule is that we are all unique individuals and no one else in the entire world is exactly like you.

In relationships, people mistakenly believe that everyone else wants to do things and live in the same way they do. No matter how close, how connected and how much you love someone else, they are not exactly like you. Because they are not exactly like you, they have different wants, needs and interests--some more important than others. They also come from a different set of life experiences, circumstances and what they consider to be important.

The truth of the matter is that other people don't want to be "done unto" as you'd like to be "done unto."

We suggest you honor the Platinum Rule which says, "Do unto others as they want to be 'done unto.'”

This means that you love them how they really want to be loved. This also means that you treat them the way they want to be treated.

To honor this rule, we recommend that you tell your mate, partner or people in your life how you would like to be "done unto" instead of allowing guesswork, assumptions and misunderstandings to ruin relationships.

This involves taking a risk. Perhaps for some people, maybe the biggest risk of all is working through fears of not being loved if you say what you really want or how you really feel.

So we suggest that instead of assuming and creating misunderstandings, both of you communicate your wants, needs and interests to those in your life. This way, by communicating openly and honestly, the chances of you and your partner getting what you each want in your life and your relationships are much greater than if you don't.

Look for Lesson #4 on my next post.

Suprise someone with flowers today. You'll make their day! (By the way, women, don't forget men like getting flowers, too! :)

The Platinum Rule® is a registered trademark of Dr. Tony Alessandra. Used with permission. All other rights are reserved in all media.

Proven secrets for creating great relationships (Part 2 of 5)

I hope you enjoyed the last post – Lesson 1 of the mini course offered by Relationship Coaches and Authors, Susie and Otto Collins. Here they share with us Lesson 2: Proven secrets for creating great relationships.

Lesson 2
One of the things the majority of people find the most challenging about creating a great relationship is...

Not being truthful about sharing their feelings and what is important to them.

What we've discovered from hearing thousands of coaching clients' stories and working through our own issues is that if people aren't truthful, resentments build and the anger, hurt, disappointment only comes out later in uglier ways.

Whenever you find that you are feeling something that you haven't expressed, communicate these things as soon as and as lovingly as you can. So often people allow small issues to grow into mountains that end up coming between them. We suggest that you take care of those issues when they come up and don't allow them to grow.

Here are some ideas for you to consider to help you do that:

1. Take a moment to find out what you are feeling and what you want. Find a way to quiet yourself, even if you have to go to the bathroom to do it. Breathe deeply and find that voice inside yourself that is telling you how you are feeling.

2. Ask your partner if you can have a few moments of uninterrupted time to talk together about an issue. Ask if your partner is willing to just listen while you talk and tell your partner that you agree to listen while he/she talks. If you both feel safe to talk without being interrupted, then you will be able to truly hear one another.

3. Say what you want in a way that it can be heard. Always approach a conversation with how you are feeling because of the issue. If you start making your partner wrong and accusing him/her, the only thing you'll accomplish is that one or both of you will either withdraw and shut down or lash out in anger.

4. Listen and honor who your partner is and what he/she wants. You may not agree with what your partner says but in order to build the trust that you want, to feel free to say what you need, you also have to listen with an open heart to him/her without getting defensive.

5. Stay open and find ways that work for both of you. We've found that when you begin to understand one another by speaking your truth and listening to each other, the two of you begin to open the door for possibilities and much more love. There's a "softer" feeling between the two of you and solutions to conflicts seem to come more easily.

Staying open means not judging the other person and reminding yourself how you love the other person even if in the moment you are irritated or disappointed in him/her. Staying open when there's conflict is probably the toughest thing you have to learn to do. Even if you take "baby steps" in doing it, you'll see how your relationship can grow.

These ideas have created miracles in our relationship and we hope they will in yours also.

Look for Lesson #3 on my next post.