What's Love got to do with it: Let's find out!

A question for Penny:

Penny,
I met a great guy… we were fine its been 4 months. We met each other’s family, took a mini vacation. Things were wonderful. I pushed him a way a tad bit just because I was trying to be careful but he just suddenly vanished... won’t answer my calls or texts. I’m saddened. Should I persist or cut it also.

Penny’s advice:

Honestly, this does not sound promising. I've heard of this happening to others as well, where someone in their life just disappears with no explanation. If it was really so wonderful, what is he running away from? What kind of character does this show of a person?

Can you truly trust him if it doesn't take much for him to disappear? And if you can't truly trust him, then you do not have a solid foundation with him to build a real relationship. Whatever the case, we don’t yet know his side of the story, and perhaps he doesn't quite know your side of the story either.

Because I don't know the details of the four months you had with him, I can only comment on what you can do right now based on the way you feel. I'm assuming you guys were talking everyday and all was good, then suddenly, it all ended and there was no gradual lead up to it, instead, he suddenly just vanished, right? I'm advising based on this assumption:

So at this point, you really have to listen to your heart and be completely honest with yourself. If you really feel that there was something great with what you shared with this guy, and it really is worth pursuing, then do something about it.

Here's your chance to lay the cards on the table. Whether you have to write an email, or leave a message (because he won’t pick up or call back), you can still take the initiative to give both you and him a chance to explain. Just make sure you share your truth - speak from the heart.

Tell him how you feel about the time you shared together, share with him how you're hurt about what is happening, and be honest about what you would like to see happen from this point on. Speak this truth from a place of love, not a place of ego. Have an attitude of coming from a win-win mentality. Do your best and share with integrity. If he's the right guy for you, he will see the beauty in what you're doing and know how to act accordingly.

But if he continues to add drama to your life by not responding or giving you a hard time, you now know he is not the right guy for you.

However, if you can’t see yourself sharing all this with him because you don’t feel he is worth pursuing in this way, then, there you have it… you already know deep down, it was fun while it lasted but you don't have to continue it because he's not the right guy for the long-term anyway.

If anything, you can still share your truth, regardless. Put it out there and see what comes back at you... at least just to get the truth out so you can get some peace and closure — if that's what you feel you need in order to move on.

Love is about sharing the truth - the truth about what’s really going on and the way you feel - not hiding it. Love does not waste time. It is us, human beings, who waste time. Love wants you to feel good and be happy in a fulfilling relationship. And this is what you want for yourself ultimately. So you see, Love is always on your side. But Love cannot help you unless you’re on the same team.

So act and align yourself with Love's intentions for you. Speak the truth, put your feelings out there (if you feel strongly for this guy, that is), and accept whatever comes back at you. Because whatever comes back at you is what Love would want for you. It is what Love wants you to know about him.

So if what comes back at you is a guy who's going to waste your time, it will show. You will know. You will know because your heart will not be completely fulfilled - it will feel confused, or dissatisfied. This is Love guiding you. You will feel these things so you can know to move away from the situation to make room for something better to come into your life.

However, if what comes back at you feels good and promising, then you can take the next step forward accordingly.

Just keep this in mind about life: You will always know what you need to know when you share your truth.

Feeling true pleasure and pain: What it means to feel alive and well!

Many years ago, someone very special wrote me a very long letter. Though the whole letter was beautiful and well thought, there were few sentences in particular at the end that really stood out for me. But I’ve forgotten about this letter since.

Then just a few days ago, I stumbled upon this letter in some folder I’ve forgotten about on my laptop. So I scrolled to see these few lines once again.

Since the last time I saw this letter, I’ve grown and evolved so much that these particular phrases make even more sense to me now than they did the first time I read them. And so it is why I want to share with you the life lessons and understanding with which they carry.
Since I can’t share the whole letter, I’ll share the last paragraph where the phrases to which I’m referring, reside. (Uncut).

“In the end, I still must thank you for the happiness you did bring me. I thank you for the simple things like my first oysters, better hair spray, and aspiring to play the piano. I dreamed of sometime in the near future, being able to play for you. I thank you for being an Angel in my life and aspiring me to want to continue being good in this dark world. Thank you for making me feel, true pleasure and pain. Thank you for this feeling of being so alive!”

So the thing that stood out for me is: “Thank you for making me feel, true pleasure and pain. Thank you for this feeling of being so alive!”

This wonderful person knew what it meant to feel alive! He was able to recognize and appreciate both the light and the dark – the pleasure and the pain. I’ve written many articles on this. I’ve shared at length that it is in accepting both your light and dark sides that makes you complete – makes you feel alive!

You can’t be complete if you only know one spectrum of yourself and not the other; you can’t truly know happiness if you’ve never felt the opposite, or know what works for you if you’ve never experienced the things that don’t. And so it is we must feel both pleasure and pain in order to grow and make better choices for our lives.

Here’s the thing: there are really only two feelings at play at all times – they are pleasure and pain. Deep down, I’ve always known this but never knew quite how to articulate it. That is why this statement “Thank you for making me feel, true pleasure and pain” strike a chord with me.

And now, throughout my own findings and teachings, I’ve come to discover many other highly credible authors, advisors, healers and leaders in this world who have also shared this same understanding of life in their speech and literature.

A simple articulation of this pleasure-pain notion is one shared by Dr. Deepak Chopra, a world-renowned authority in the field of mind-body healing, best-selling author, and a global force in the field of human empowerment.

He has this to say:

“There are really only two emotions: pleasure and pain — either it feels good or it hurts. Most people believe that the two fundamental emotions are love and fear, but these are really just the ways we respond to the potential for pleasure and pain. Love means we want to get closer to it because we think it will bring us pleasure. Fear means we want to move away because we think it will bring pain.

The optimal and truest condition is one of balance. Any time we have emotional turbulence, we upset our natural internal balance, which can block our spiritual evolution and may even disconnect us from synchronicity. This is not to say that emotions are, in themselves, harmful or to be avoided.

As human beings we will always have emotions; these are part of the human condition. But extremes of emotion will set us off course for our true life purpose. There will always be things in this world that cause great pain or anxiety. But we need to avoid getting stuck on one emotion.

Although our natural instinct is to avoid pain, we must deal with it when it occurs; otherwise, it will resurface later in life in some form of emotional turbulence. The form it takes may be different from what you expect, but it will resurface, perhaps as insomnia, or illness, or anxiety, or depression.”

In addition to this, here is what Master Stephen Co, one of the only four Master Pranic Healers in the world, has to say:

“Negative emotions themselves do not cause problems; our resistance to feeling them and releasing their energy in a constructive way causes the problem. When you avoid feeling negative emotions and beliefs, your body’s musculature physically constricts and holds on to them.

Held tightly in the body over a period of time, these negative emotions, limiting beliefs, and traumatic memories form blockages and energetic disturbances that lead to physical health problems. Certainly, your health can be affected adversely by external factors such as bacteria and viruses, as well as poor life choices, bad habits, and accidents.

But many health problems result from an energetic disturbance that is ultimately caused by the unconscious mind trapping a negative emotion or limiting belief in the body.”

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