So, you’re kind. You’re fun. You’re loving, maybe attractive, perhaps, even successful. You figure that, with all your good qualities, dating should be a piece of cake, or life and relationships should be more effortless or rewarding. Except that’s not how it’s worked out for you, and deep down you wonder why.
I’ve come to discover that you don’t find happiness just because you’re attractive. You don’t get a healthy loving relationship just because you have a big heart or a big bank account. And you don’t fall in love simply because you deserve to.
Life doesn’t quite work that way. And that’s why sometimes it can seem unfair. But at closer look, life is fair enough—if you take responsibility for your own happiness.
Every person I’ve ever met who’s been able to move forward in life in a positive and fulfilling way have been able to do so once they understood that happiness is an acquired skill.
People, events and materials are things that can add to your happiness, but they are not the things to depend on in order to be happy.
There’s always something to complain about even in the best of times. And there’s always something to be happy about even in the worst of times. In either case, you have to choose to be happy, or you would never have a chance to be happy. So ultimately, happiness is a choice.
Your happiness is your own responsibility and not someone else’s. If you assign this responsibility to someone other than yourself, you’re going to live with anxiety and will want to control everything that is beyond your control just to keep yourself from being disappointed. This is a very unhealthy way to live.
The key is not to be overly concern about what others choose to say or do, for you have no control over those factors (no matter how much you think you do). So instead, focus on the one thing that you do have compete control of – and that is, what you choose to say or do.
When you depend on someone else to make you happy, you’re essentially giving away this one thing of yourself that you can control in exchange for something you have no control of. That sounds like a discomforting thing to do to yourself, don’t you think?
You may feel that what I’m saying here isn’t fair and you may even want to blame anything negative you’re feeling on someone else other than yourself. But that’s exactly the attitude that will bring you more pain.
What I’m going to share with you may be one of the hardest things to swallow but it is the thing that if you can grasp, will bring you peace no matter what’s going on around you.
When something doesn’t go your way, or someone does something that displeases you, instead of looking outside yourself for someone or something to blame, maybe the first place you should look at is what’s going on within yourself. Let me break it down for you.
Human beings are all made up of the same parts: bones, organs, tissues and cells, all of which contain molecules made up of atoms. Study the human body and you’ll learn that each one of us is a constant vibrating field of energy.
The thing that makes us different from one another is the frequency in which our field of energy vibrates. And this difference is determined by the decisions we make in every moment. It is our decisions that lead us to think, act and feel the way we do, which in turn lead us to experience more of what we want or don’t want.
If you do a quick study on emotions you’ll discover that every emotion emits a certain level of energy frequency. With the technology we have today we can measure their energy vibration and clearly see that positive emotions emit higher frequencies and negative emotions emit lower frequencies.
For example, the following feelings and attitudes emit a higher vibrational frequency: happiness, joy, bliss, appreciation, gratitude, love, peace, admiration, certainty, confidence, faith, courage, hope, freedom and trust.
The following feelings and attitudes emit a lower vibrational frequency: condemnation, guilt, worry, disappointment, resentment, fear, insecurity, doubt, hesitation and sadness.
This does not mean you have to completely avoid negative feelings, it just means you shouldn’t dwell in them for too long. When you feel negative feelings, learn to appreciate them because they’re helpful – they act as guides to remind you to make better decisions.
Science and spiritual studies have been revealing for centuries that everything (animate or inanimate) around us is made up of energy. And they have been able to prove that “like attracts like.” There have been many phrases coined to support this notion such as, “Birds of a feather flock together,” or, “That which is like unto itself is drawn.” If you’ve never heard of these popular phrases, now you have.
Therefore, when you feel a low frequency feeling and you decide to completely submerge yourself in that space for a lengthy period of time instead of learning from it and moving on, you’ve then caused your body’s energy field to vibrate at a low frequency. As a result, without even knowing this, you draw to yourself more of anything (whether it be a person, place, event or situation) that resonates in your range of low frequency.
It doesn’t matter how different people can seem on the outside. If on the level of their energy body they emit a similar range of frequency, they’ll attract themselves to one another whether they like it or not.
Some of us mistake seemingly different people coming together as “opposites attract,” but really, it only seems like opposites on the surface, however, at the core of the matter –in terms of their energy field – they are the same, they are a vibrational match.
If you are mostly emitting at a higher frequency, then you most likely attract people, events and experiences that are of high frequency as well. If you predominantly make decisions that make you feel low, you are emitting at a lower frequency and you attract all those people and situations that emit a similar low frequency.
It is in the choices you make that sets you apart and gives each of you the personality and attitude that you live with. It is the choices you make that draw to you people who make the kind of choices you do.
If you’re not clear about what you want, your choices will reflect your uncertainty; they will be all over the place attracting people and situations into your life that you don’t understand,
making you feel like you’re not getting what you want. Your uncertainties send out mix signals and in turn you receive mix messages, and therefore, mix results.
So be clear about what you want and find ways to be happy (emit higher frequency feelings) without depending on someone else to make you happy. You have to make the choice to feel good and take complete responsibility in making it happen.
So though you may be a good person, if you’re mostly feeling low or emitting lower frequency feelings, the goodness of life (which emits at higher frequencies) will have a tough time getting to you simply because you are not a vibrational match.
Once again, life is fair if you take complete responsibility for the choices you make. Life never stops you from making positive changes. And life is more than forgiving if you’re willing to cooperate with higher frequency thoughts, feelings and actions.
For those of you who understand the Universal Law of Attraction, then what I’ve shared here about energy and attraction is probably familiar to you. But for those of you who do not yet know what this means and how it works, please stay tuned to my next post as I will do my best to give an even more thorough explanation.
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