What can you do if you’re “stuck” in an unhealthy relationship?

Time and time again, I hear from readers who stay in unhealthy relationships for all the saddest reasons. And even though they’re aware of this rut they’re in, they have a tough time with ending the relationship and moving on. So in light of this dilemma, I want to share the following article.

Are you in an unhealthy relationship because you’re feeling too guilty to leave? Maybe you made some mistakes and feel the need to make up for it by staying. Maybe you discovered that you and your partner are just not compatible anymore but you’ve invested too much time to just walk away from it now.

First off, a mistake is only a mistake if you haven’t yet learned from it. If you feel you’ve learned from your mistakes and have done everything you can possibly do to make your relationship work and yet it hasn’t worked, then perhaps it’s time to check in with your Self again.

If for whatever reason you feel that leaving is not an option at this time, then let’s look at what you can do to make the best of the situation so things can begin to slowly shift toward a positive direction.

Also, keep in mind that a shift will either bring you both closer together, or it will give you the push you need to move on once and for all. Are you ready to make this shift no matter what the outcome? If you are, read on.

So let’s say you stay in this unhealthy relationship for the time being. It will be inevitable that you feel resentment. After all, this choice you’re making is causing an imbalance in your life and your body will feel all sorts of negative feelings to warn you, to guide you, to protect you. So these negative feelings are normal if you choose to stay.

So first things first: It is not your job to diagnose your partner. There’s no point finding fault or putting blame. Bottom line, if you want things to shift toward a positive direction, you have to adopt a “higher level attitude” and learn to let go of whatever it is that you’ve been doing simply because it has not been working.

Instead, adopt a gracious attitude and know that it’s nobody’s fault. You and your partner are just not compatible in this moment in time, period – nothing more, nothing less.

It is not your job to try and fix them, unless you want to make it your job. If that were the case, just keep in mind that if you’re trying to pull a weight much heavier than you can handle, they could pull you down with them.

So for whatever reasons of your own, if you choose to remain with someone whose behavior continues to displease you, then you need to find a way to protect yourself from being sucked into their negative pattern – a pattern of behavior that can bring out the worse in you.

You cannot control how other people choose to be, but the one thing you can control is how you, yourself, choose to be. How you act can alter other people's behavior. So how have you been acting?

You have to change the way you act if you want a different result. If you keep dealing with things the same way, you'll be getting the same results.

Earlier I mentioned adopting a “higher level attitude” and learning to let go. What this means is in order for anything to shift toward a positive direction for you, you must adopt a behavior that serves a higher purpose – a bigger picture.

There are many ways to do this, and just to give you some ideas, here is an example you could adopt: From today onwards, you make a conscious effort that every thought you have, every word you utter and every deed you perform is done with deliberate intent to bring some benefit to anyone who comes in contact with you.

If you adopt this attitude, everything about the way you handle things will begin to shift.

Everything you do will come from a stronger, more stable place. This will truly empower you, and your life will slowly shift toward a more positive direction regardless of your partner’s behavior.

By adopting this attitude, instead of getting drawn into melodrama, you will just want to let it go. And I mean really let it go. You won’t want to do or say anything simply to “react,” instead, you will want to “respond” with deliberate intent for positive change.

Practice not joining your partner when he or she does anything that displeases you. Not joining means not reacting or being any part of it to add more fuel to the fire – not getting angry, not answering back or showing a bad attitude about it.

Contributing your energy to continue in any negative manner is like you choosing to join in on the drama. So if you don't want the drama, you must LET IT GO when it happens. You have to NOT JOIN in.

Instead, calmly observe every detail in front of you, feel it completely without judgement, listen closely, and if you feel the urge to attack or defend, before you do so, remember the “higher level attitude” you’ve adopted – remember your intent to bring benefit into any situation with every move you make.

Remember all of this before you respond and it will alter your state. And it is in this altered state that your respond to your partner will be a very different one from what they’re used to getting from you. You may even be pleasantly surprised at your own tactful respond.

Holding this kind of higher awareness during any event will allow you to feel a very powerful sea of calm and strength within you – the kind that will allow you to first let your partner finish what he or she is displaying before you proceed with saying how you feel about things and what you wish to have happened instead.

Also, it is very important that this “matter of fact” point that you make to your partner be delivered from a neutral place within you.

Once you've spoken, just walk away and do not participate in it anymore. Let your partner go on as long as he or she wants. But you need only tell your truth nicely, and you're done, just walk away. And again, remember, your truth has to, like I said, come from a neutral place within you.

This means stick to the facts and keep your cool. You can't say things to be manipulative or condescending or you would be defeating the whole purpose of not participating in the drama that you do not appreciate.

And you have to be patient and do this consistently every time. If you do this consistently and frequently, slowly things will begin to shift. Your partner will subliminally associate their ways to getting no “reaction” whatsoever, and their negative behavior will eventually diminish in intensity.

It will diminish in intensity because there's no fuel for it to feed on. Nothing can survive for long without the very thing that keeps it alive. In this case the thing that has kept it alive has been your constant reaction to it.

Even when you "purposely ignore" your partner, you’re still participating. You’re still trying to show them your anger, you're still trying to proof your point, therefore, you’re still participating in this very thing that upsets you, hence, you add more fuel to the drama. To stop the drama, you have to take yourself out of it.

If you choose this “higher thinking” approach I suggested here, you will both either learn to appreciate one another and agree to work on growing together, or, grow further apart and go your separate ways.

Remember, it takes two to keep this game going, this fire burning. So if only one of you were to stop playing, the game cannot go on, there would be no fuel to feed the fire, and the fire will eventually die.

With this, you could either come together to work on a fresh start, or you could discover you’re much better off walking away for good. In either case, you would still come out a winner for you would find love again with the right partner. And furthermore, you would have become a better person from having been through pain with utmost integrity and grace.

Law of Attraction: What is it and how can you make it work for you? (Part 2 of 2)

(If you haven’t yet read Part 1 of this article, please click here to do so before moving ahead to Part 2 below. This way, everything shared here will make better sense to you.)

Often, when one first learns of the powerful Law of Attraction, they try to monitor each thought, often feeling guarded about their thoughts. This is absolutely not necessary.

Rather than trying to monitor your thoughts, you need only pay attention to how you are feeling. For if you choose a thought that is not in harmony with the deeper, wiser inner part of your being, you will feel discomfort, and then you can easily redirect your thought to something that feels better, which serves you better.

Paying attention to your feelings is simple once you understand that there are really only two emotions: one feels good, and the other feels bad. You call them all sorts of different things, perhaps even using all kinds of fancy words, depending on the context of the situation. But it all boils down to you either feeling good, or feeling bad.

When you are giving thought in a direction of something that you do not want, you will feel negative emotion. Negative emotion exists only when you are miscreating. When you are giving thought in the direction of what you want, you will feel positive emotion.

And so, simply by paying attention to the way you are feeling, you will know at all times, the direction from which your powerful magnetic being is attracting the subject of whatever you are giving thought to.

And it is also when you recognize that you are feeling negative emotion—no matter why, no matter how it got there, no matter what the situation is—stop doing whatever it is you are doing and focus your thoughts on something that feels better. This takes practice. However, the more you practice, the better you get—just like anything else you choose to do in life.

Whenever you are feeling good, know that you are, in that moment, thinking, speaking, or acting in accordance with your intentions—and know that whenever you are feeling bad, you are not aligned with your intentions.

In short, whenever there is negative emotion present within you, you are, in that moment, miscreating, either through your thought, your word, or your action.

Another important factor to keep in mind: anyone can have a thought. But merely having a thought does not cause it to manifest. The thought has to be in combination with strong emotion over a period of time, before it builds momentum, grows larger, becomes more powerful. And so, the larger the thought (with strong emotion) grows, the more power it draws unto it, and the more certain you are to receive the experience.

Go ahead and study the people you admire and you will recognize for yourself the exact correlation between what they have been thinking about and what they have been able to accomplish in their experience.

The Law of Attraction says: That which is like unto itself, is drawn. To better understand this, see yourself as a magnet attracting unto you the essence of that which you are thinking and feeling. And so, if you feel poor, you cannot attract prosperity. If you are feeling fat, you cannot attract thin, and so on. It defies the Law.

We have coined many phrases because of our partial understanding of this Law. We say, “The rich gets richer.” We say, “Birds of a feather flock together.” We say, “You reap what you sow.”

But even as we are saying these things, most of us do not truly understand how powerful the Law of Attraction really is. Every circumstance and event is a result of it. People are drawn together because of it. Thoughts that are vibrationally similar to one another are drawn magnetically to one another through this powerful Law.

Most physical beings are so completely integrated into their physical world that they have very little conscious awareness of their relationship with the non-physical world. For instance, you want music in your car, so you turn on the stereo, and hear the music.

You can easily explain which button turns on the stereo, and how to tune into your favorite station. But you also understand that there is much more to this story of how this non-physical matter called music sounds itself to you.

Same thing applies when you want light in your bedroom. You turn on the switch, and watch the light flood the room. You can easily explain to others that, “This switch turns on that light.” But you also realize that there is much more happening behind the scenes to cause this non-physical matter called light to appear.

And so it is with all things that you are experiencing in your physical setting. You are explaining only a little bit of what makes things happen. And it is also that I am now explaining only a little bit of how the Law of Attraction works. There is much more you can learn about this Law to greatly benefit your life.

There have been countless books devoted to the explanation of this powerful Law. Some of these books not only dwell deep into exactly how this Law works, but they also explain and show you in detail how you can deliberately use the Law to your greatest advantage.

It does not matter who you are, or what circumstance you are in or were born into. Once you understand this Law and start to pay attention to what you are giving your attention to, you will regain control of your own life experience.

And with this control, you will remember that there is nothing that you desire that you cannot achieve, and there is nothing that you do not want that you cannot release from your experience.


If you choose to learn more about this Law, here are some books you can look into:

Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction: 7 Essential Ingredients for Living a Prosperous Life by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Jeanna Gabellini CPPC, and Eva Gregory CPPC

The Law of Attraction in Action: A Down-to-Earth Guide to Transforming Your Life (No Matter Where You're Starting From) by Ph.D., Deanna Davis

Living the Law of Attraction: Real Stories of People Manifesting Health, Wealth, and Happiness by Robin Hoch

The Law of Attraction Made Simple - Magnetize your heartfelt desires by Jonathan Manske

The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

Law of Attraction: What is it and how can you make it work for you? (Part 1 of 2)

(As promised, this post is intended to expand on the article from my last post, “Why is it that even good people find themselves in disappointing situations?” Just so everything here makes better sense to you, if you haven’t yet read that article, I recommend you do so by clicking here before moving forward to reading the article below.)

When you truly understand how the Law of Attraction works, you will understand why there are no “coincidences” in life – never were, never will be. Nothing happens “by chance.” The Law of Attraction is as real as the Law of Gravity; they are few of the most powerful Laws that exist in this Universe. These Laws are fair, consistent and absolute.

Whether you believe it or not, these Laws are always in effect. They do not judge you and they are not selective as to whom they want to work for, and to whom they don’t. Whether you perceive yourself as good, bad, rich, poor, tall, short – it doesn’t matter – if you jump off

a building, by the Law of Gravity you will certainly go down.

And whatever you focus on with strong emotions for an extended period of time, by the Law of Attraction, you will manifest it into your life, whether these thoughts were formed by you consciously, or unconsciously (by default).

These Laws – even if you do not understand that they do – affect your experience even in your ignorance of them. In this physical world, you can see the Law of Gravity at work right before your eyes. Whereas the Law of Attraction is happening right before you, but you cannot physically see it at work because this Law is responding to the thoughts that you hold in your mind. Therefore, it deals with energy and vibration, which you cannot physically see.

You can deliberately create your life experiences by directing your thoughts and focus upon the things that you do want to draw into your experience. If you are not aware of this Law or don't understand the influence it has on your life, you would only remain creating unconsciously or by default.

And this is why when something unwanted happens in your life, you do not understand why it happened, and you believe you have no control. But you do. It is best you realize this for yourself sooner, than later.

As you begin to understand this powerful Law, the evidence of it that surrounds you will be apparent, for you will begin to recognize the exact correlation between what you have been thinking about and what is actually coming into your experience.

Nothing merely happens by chance. You attract it—all of it. There are no exceptions. Yes, I know… becoming more “conscious” of this can be frightening at first, because it means we must take personal responsibility for ourselves – for our thoughts, attitudes, career, health and overall wellbeing.

Allow me to elaborate to give you an even better understanding of this Law. When you see something you would like to experience and you say, “Yes, I would love to have that,” through your attention to it, you begin to invite it into your experience.

However, when you look at something and say, “No, I don’t want that to happen to me. I hope I never have to experience that,” through your attention to it, you invite that into your experience.

You see… there is no such thing as exclusion in this attraction-based Universe. Your attention to it includes it in your vibration, and if you hold it in your attention or awareness long enough, the Law of Attraction will bring it into your experience.

The powerful Law of Attraction does not judge “right” from “wrong,” “good” from “bad,” “something you want” from “something you do not want.” It only brings to you the essence of that which you give much thought to.

So to clarify further, when you look at something and say, “No, no, I don’t want to experience ‘this.’ I hope ‘it’ never happens to me!” then what you are actually doing is calling “it” into your experience, for there is no such thing as “no” in an attraction-based Universe.

Just your attention to “it” is vibrating the energy, “Yes, come to me, ‘this thing’ I do not want!” Through the Law of Attraction, you are attracting “it,” the essence of that which you do not desire.

And this essence of a thing that you do not want can take shape in many different forms that you do not like. So for example, you can keep saying (or just feeling), “I fear debt and I don’t ever want to be in debt” and yet, you may never be in debt, but you may one day get robbed and you wonder, “Why did I get robbed? I never, ever, think about getting robbed so I don’t understand why it would happen to me. I couldn’t have possibly attracted this situation to myself!”

Well, this is where I will have you understand that fearing debt and not wanting to be in debt can exude a similar energy frequency as being robbed. So if you were strongly in that range of frequency that involves fear and money, you can attract anything that is of that similar frequency to you – whether it be losing your job, being owed lots of money, getting into a fender bender you cannot afford to fix and so on.

It is one thing to plan, be aware and alert about money issues, but it is another thing altogether to fear it. The former draws to you essence of things that are much more positive or in control, but the latter draws to you essence of things that are more negative – low energy (vibrational) frequency people, events and circumstances.

Fortunately for us, here in our physical time-space reality, things do not manifest into your experience instantaneously. There is a magnificent buffer of time between when you begin to think about something and the time it manifests. This gives you the opportunity to redirect your thoughts more and more in the direction of the things you actually do want to manifest in your experience.

Right now you may be experiencing something you do not like, be it money issues, health issues, relationship issues or whatever the case, and you say, “How could I have invited this into my life? I don’t even like it, let alone want it enough to invite it!”

And I would have to agree with you, though, I must point out the fact that you did indeed invite it, attract it, or create it—but not on purpose. So it is essential you understand how this Law works so you can start living your life on purpose.

Somewhere along the way, by default, you have offered your thought, and then the Law that you do not understand responded to your thought, causing results that you do not understand.

It is through your thoughts that you invite, but because of the buffer of time in our physical time-space reality, what you are living today is a result of thoughts that you have thought before this time, just as the thoughts that you are thinking today, you are projecting into your future.

Your thoughts today are pre-paving your future, and there will be a point in time when you will move to that future place, and you will then live the results of the thoughts that you are thinking now – just as today you are living the results of the thoughts that you have before.

So the point here is that it is never too late to change anything that displeases you, for you can deliberately redirect your thoughts to only the things that please you. See that which you want as vividly as you can and focus only on that, so much so that it evokes positive emotion and there are no doubts – no contradictory thoughts – to slow down the process of your manifestation for the near future.

These thoughts have to be so real that you feel excited; you feel only positive emotion through and through. Only then will you have truly pre-paved for yourself a positive future experience with the thoughts you are having today, and everyday.

If you are purely visualizing without a doubt, but with absolute certainty, excitement and anticipation, you will begin to see many signs of it: you will see people coming to you that you would like to know; you will take more notice of aspects of the things you want, in many different directions.

You will notice yourself doing things differently because you are thinking differently; you will end up in places with information that benefit you; you will find yourself thinking about it and feeling excited about it often; and you will be feeling very good about that which you want.

Those will be some of the signs that will tell you the thoughts you have been having with strong positive emotion, are starting to bring you what you want. (To be continued…)

Please check in again end of this week (Sunday), as I will post Part 2 of this article up for you. You do not want to miss Part 2. :)